whose magic are you mistaking for your own?
Feb 15, 2026: the shift
clique aqui para ler em português.
i'm sharing this because i work today with permission to unleash my sword. it may be because different planets have moved into the sign of aries, i don't know, but i'm always going to follow my intuition. here i am today. i'm sharing this for full transparency: i am upset and disappointed, yes obviously because of those around me over the years, but also with myself.
i heard something today and it said something about not blaming the people but asking ourselves why we allowed it. i don't know if this would be my final answer, but as i sat with that, i said to myself that it was part of my learning experience. more may come to me around why i have allowed so much and given so much grace to people, but as of right now, that's all i got.
this is not coming from ego. this is coming from a place of education, and to emphasize that the phase of my life of extending my magic for free is over, especially as i step into a new level of teaching. i'm in my chiron return phase now, that time between 48 and 52 when the wounded healer becomes the wisdom keeper. when you stop giving your magic away for free. i want this to be a cornerstone, a reference point for those who are leveling up, those in or approaching this phase as teachers and high priestesses. for those becoming the wisdom keepers.
the pattern i've witnessed
i often joke about how people have said to me "well at my house" or they'll say something about how their family does something. this usually happens when someone has already agreed to guidelines that i set in place when they come into any physical or virtual space i have created. after a period of time when they start to do things that they said that they wanted to escape from, they will get comfortable and fall back into the habits and patterns and rituals that they know. and i have to remind them that it's not their home and more often than not, spaces that i created are not my home in the traditional sense. they have been safe spaces for the collective.
people come into my magical world and start to think that my magic is their magic. and despite being very clear about rules and guidelines that i put in place to make sure that everyone feels respected, many get ahead of themselves and they don't do the ego and shadow work that they agreed to do. they don't do the ego and shadow work it takes to be truly magical. they don't extend equal reciprocity. and reciprocity isn't just about handing out money because that's an easy solution. reciprocity also looks like time and knowledge. and as we know, time is one of the most valuable things that we can give ourselves and others.
as they are enjoying the fruits of my magical world that i have worked so hard and sacrificed for, they start to show off to people in their life who never provided them anything more than mundane living, that so-called american dream. if they're lucky it looks like a pig with lipstick, but it's the same cookie cutter living and environments which also looks like good pay, a nice car, or a home. that's not magic. many continue to try to show off to partners and family and friends with whom they've only established trauma bonds. the amount of time doesn't make the relationship any healthier. it's what it was built on. the foundation. and sometimes that trauma bonding looks like childhood trauma, betrayal, and toxic patterns.
magic is giving people the courage to take action. giving someone inspiration is not giving them the courage to actually take action. i often say that "my worst days are most people's best days" and that i'm able to live every day as if it's a vacation. when most partners or families or childhood friendships are unable to give them that. magic is an exhilarating energy. i'm able to get people to do things they always said that they wanted to do but never did. it could be as simple as riding a bike again as an adult. i make healing and change playful. i am able to give people what a therapist, partner, and family members couldn't and can't.
can you materialize something from nothing, or do you just rearrange what you bought?
what magic actually is
so what is magic actually? because most people don't know.
magic is a frequency. magic for me is a frequency. when i say that i think of a man that i met my second day in brazil at the beach and he approached me and started speaking to me in portuguese. and we were able to have a brief conversation using the translation on my phone. but that didn't matter to him. i felt familiar to him and so he continued to talk to me. i shared some of my coffee with him. and then he went on his way. as i left the beach and walked up the steps he was at the top of the steps and pointed down to his cooler. when i looked in his cooler i was expecting to see fish or shrimp or crabs or something. i'm not really sure. it was very early in the morning. but when i looked in the cooler there was nothing in there but water and a plastic cup. he saw the look on my face and realized that i was confused. he then reached into the cooler and grabbed the cup with a bit of water in it and poured it on my feet to get the sand off. that's when i realized that is what he was doing to make money and it brought me to tears because it was something so simple yet so profound because there's nothing more frustrating than trying to get sand off of your feet when you end up taking a stroll on the beach unexpectedly. and i remember thinking that's honest work. i don't know why that moment or that exchange with that gentleman touched me so much and i think about it often. i've been here almost a year and i've passed him a few times on the street and he recognizes me and he always nods and smiles but there's something about him that is so magical.
the magical people that i have experienced in seeing and that i give recognition and acknowledgment to can heal people with things as basic as soil.
the magical people that i know are the healers who know how to heal core wounds, the root wounds, and those are the true root workers who get to the root of the issue. the magical people that i know are able to make leaps or help others leap. they acknowledge the land and the people that have altered their reality and in turn they are able to alter the reality of others.
those people that i consider magical are great at making things materialize. they're able to transform something out of nothing and that does not include something they bought from amazon to make something else and slap a label on it and call it magical or healing.
as we move into these new times i'm realizing that magic is a currency. i've only met a handful of truly magical people in my lifetime although many people nowadays claim to be magical and healers.
what magic is not
magic doesn't look like slapping crystals on something that looks like everything else. magic isn't headwraps. it's not soothing music. it's not working more or harder and it's not synchronicities.
many people will never experience magic because they're striving for perfection and they won't try something different unless they know they'll succeed or that the thing that they're going to try to do has been done by someone else or will be approved by those closest to them. magic isn't a perfect credit score. magical people are able to do the same if not more with much less.
magic is a quiet confidence. i've had magical people and people all over the world who have been my teachers across this country. collecting information and knowledge and experience from the unseen, never recognized wisdom keepers.
the reciprocity teaching
real magic requires real reciprocity. i learned this from watching my own teachers.
i have never not acknowledged the women mentors in my life. i've had two very significant mentors but i feel that everyone that i come in contact with has taught me something. but one mentor specifically is a woman named bernadette and she and i were introduced through a mutual friend who spoke highly of her and recognized our similar levels of eclecticism. after getting to know bernadette for a while and watching her in action and not just in her words but evidence of her life and things that she did and had done in the past, i said to her "i'm going to florida to learn from you." when i said that i didn't know how but the universe made it happen and i did. i lived in florida for about two and a half years and now today as i sit in brazil i wouldn't be here if it were not for her support of me and i continue to learn from her and seek her out for guidance. and i continuously give her acknowledgment and recognition.
but i think to be able to acknowledge our mentors that we haven't paid, it takes a level of confidence and self-esteem. but true mentorship is also a part of reciprocity. it's like the same when the teacher is ready the student appears. an example of this would be when i first visited her home and met her family, i stepped onto the porch and her daughters were there and instead of introducing me as courtney, the first thing she said to them was "this is my teacher courtney." this obviously took me by surprise because i considered her my teacher. but in that moment i understood the true meaning of reciprocity.
most people pay someone for education and learning and then only then feel comfortable to acknowledge the authority that someone carries and they go into debt to learn or to get a degree. but what i'm learning is that access to my magic is a privilege.
are you confident enough to name your teachers, or do you only credit those you paid?
the cost of extending free magic
i have this gift that when i sometimes say something to people and ask them why they did something in a true genuine way where i'm trying to understand before making an assumption or judgment, i see them slide into a childlike state back when they used to get into trouble and their dreams were crushed and shattered. i didn't have that experience as a child. i was very fortunate to have parents who always supported my wildest wins, dreams, and imagination and were very easy on me although i was a very stubborn and determined child.
i've experienced much of this with little to no recognition from mere mortals although the universe has repaid me in different ways. and i guess some maybe think that is part of my ego that is mentioning this because i desire the recognition, but no. there's been a change, a shift in energy as saturn and uranus have moved into aries, but also because some of these same people will recognize someone or an institution that they have gone into debt to pay. instead of learning like they had agreed before coming into spaces or into my magical life, they jump ahead of themselves and start to try to teach others, start bragging before they have been able to create their own waves of magic with evidence and consistency. then when i remove myself and my energy and cut them off from my frequency of magic they think that i have cursed them. it's not that. it's just that they go back to the same rat race and the mundane life, back to living a life that's nothing more than a pig with lipstick.
i am able to access downloads and channelings from different realms because of my connection to nature, because i've spent time in solitude, because i have sacrificed so much. and many find themselves trying to compete with me out of jealousy and envy yet are not willing to make the same sacrifices or to claim their sovereignty, which is different than being free or an independent thinker. and i don't feel like enough people speak on the word sovereignty, nor empowerment. empowerment of self, not relying on someone else to empower them.
have you mistaken someone's withdrawal of energy for a curse?
golden children and lost magic
and this is what happens when golden children grow up and forget how to be magical.
we often hear the term golden children or golden child, but there are very few who become golden adults. and it's not because that they no longer are that, but it's because most of their goldenness, of their magic, was washed out of them to fit into a box. and very few have taken time or had time as an adult to retrieve that part of them. many have had their innocence stolen. magic needs imagination, curiosity, naivety, and confidence. many of those adults who were golden children start to chase clout and things of status. most importantly magic needs imperfection and so many people strive to be perfectionist.
this may ruffle some feathers and this is not a place from ego, but i need to say that there's nothing special about most people and that's only because they haven't taken the journey back to self and they put lipstick on a pig which is the everyday traditional things and think just because something has a label or title or a degree or certificate or that they paid a little bit more than someone else that it makes them unique.
i have often watched people meltdown after they have come into one of my physical safe spaces on a visit and asked me if i have an iron or a steamer. and although i did just by default because someone gave it to me, i will tell them yes but i'm not giving it to you and ask you why do you need it? and everyone always has an excuse. the answers aren't always the same but it's usually around something about their clothes being wrinkled. and then i asked them why does it matter. because more often than not i'm in an environment that is a laid-back type of environment. people see me and see the lifestyle that i'm living and ask if they can come and visit. they're attracted to the laid-back lifestyle but they show up bringing all the baggage that they say they want or need to get away from. so they go into these stories about how they were taught to look presentable and need to dress a certain way on a certain day depending on where they're going. and when i asked them where they got that from, who taught them, and why, one of two things happened. either they want to fight me and challenge me and go into a meltdown. or they pause and think about it for a moment and realize what i'm challenging them to do.
when did you trade your magic for approval?
play and priorities
play is a very important part of the work that i do. often play doesn't require any resources or investment. it just takes time and the acceptance to do something. i often hear people say they wish that they could do more and they think that means having extra money to give to a person or an organization. yet when i look at their lifestyle and their choices on what they spend their money on, they often spend more money on manicures, haircuts, streaming services, clothes, than what it took me to buy a ton of bicycles to have at a safe space that i created when i was living at the church. because as an avid cyclist i wanted to have extra bicycles available for those who came to visit me without them having to go and find or rent a bike because i know that it's been one of the quickest ways to get people to giggle when i see them ride off through the neighborhood to explore like when they were kids and able to leave the block for the first time.
and don't get me wrong, i need to emphasize that it is very fine. it's okay for people not to want to sacrifice any of their extra time or resources. i take issue with it when people want to compete with me or make excuses yet are trying to compete with someone who actually walks the talk.
are you making excuses or are you making magic?
for those stepping into the teacher role
not everyone who says that they are magical or a high priestess or a healer or spiritual are just because they say they are. what matters is evidence and consistency. what matters is whether you can actually transform reality, alter frequencies, create waves of magic that others can witness and feel. what matters is whether you've done your shadow work, whether you've sacrificed, whether you walk the talk.
this phase of life requires discernment. it requires knowing who deserves access to your magic and who doesn't. it requires understanding that some people will always choose the pig with lipstick over true transformation. and that's their choice. but it's no longer your responsibility to try to save them from it.
and don't get me wrong, i need to emphasize that it is very fine. it's okay for people not to want to sacrifice any of their extra time or resources. i take issue with it when people want to compete with me or make excuses yet are trying to compete with someone who actually walks the talk.
making magic great again
with that being said, i have always been fair. i have always given people fair warning. i have always told people if you were going to be in a virtual or physical space with me or try to befriend me, you need to be friends with your shadow because i will befriend your shadow before i befriend the mask that most people wear in society. a lot of people when they are challenged about something that they have done outside of integrity or alignment of what they say they want, they start to talk in circles and give indirect answers and they can't hear themselves. they dance around the answers.
i have always set clear expectations once i started doing this work. i have also provided people with grace. i have given them reminders and chances. i have set up spaces for conflict resolution or intervention and prevention with others within the space and circles and not just myself. and in addition i have really taken time to ask someone why. because despite my disgust with humanity sometimes, i do believe that sometimes people work on behalf of other forces and they don't even realize it.
and the expectations that i have set are not cookie cutter. everyone not only deserves a unique experience and solution to their problem, but that is what it takes often to do real true healing and root work. and i have many examples of this with many different people in all the safe spaces that i have created physically and virtually. and i have always set clear guidelines prior to arrival or entry and at some point found myself having to get people to click a checkbox like terms and agreement saying they have read and understood or watched and understood and agree.
i share my resources that i have received and magical ways and have never asked for money, but i have asked people to take time to do the healing work that they say that they want and haven't been able to do because they always have excuses about not having enough time or privacy or space or no money. i tell people that if they show up that they can't do what i do because a lot of the work i have already done that they need to take time to disconnect, to pay it forward, to volunteer within the community, to go outside and spend time in nature and solitude, and most importantly to play and tap into their inner child.
i often say that "i taste like magic" because of my ability to manifest and materialize things not only for myself but for others. another saying that i have is "make a wish because i grant wishes." and i was reminded of that this morning.
magic is a quiet confidence. i've had magical people and people all over the world who have been my teachers across this country, collecting information and knowledge and experience from the unseen, never recognized wisdom keepers.
this is where i stand now. in my authority. in my shift. knowing what i know about myself, about magic, about what i've built and what i've given. the free magic phase is over. access to my frequency is a privilege. and i'm finally honoring that truth.
can people befriend your shadow, or do you only show them your mask?
additional questions for pondering, activation, and reflection:
have you ever entered someone's sacred space and then tried to recreate it in your own image?
when was the last time you fell back into the patterns you said you wanted to escape?
what's the simplest act of magic you've ever witnessed?
who in your life operates from a frequency you can't explain but can feel?
who taught you what you know, and have you acknowledged them publicly?
what does true reciprocity look like in your relationships, beyond money?
are you showing off your transformation to the same people who gave you your wounds?
who are you trying to compete with instead of learning from?
what part of your golden child self are you too afraid to retrieve?
are you chasing status or chasing sovereignty?
what are you actually spending money on versus what you say you value?
when was the last time you did something just because it made you feel like a kid again?
have you done the shadow work you're asking others to do?
is your magic a frequency or a performance?
are you dancing around the answer or speaking your truth directly?
what would change if you treated your magic as a privilege instead of a given?